Neji Muses, Naruto Contemplates
by Simple-Minded Idiot
Summary: Neji and Sasuke have an odd relationship. Naruto is just the best friend who's in love with Sasuke. Sasuke's madly in love with Neji. Neji... doesn't know if he loves Sasuke or not. Onesided SasuNeji and NaruSasu at first... hints of NejiNaruSasu


"You don't have to do anything just... be there for me. If not mentally, at least physically. I need to feel your presence. I need to confirm my existence. And don't worry... I love enough for the both of us."

Those words were what had started a twisted, secret relationship between Sasuke and Neji. Sometimes, Neji wondered if Sasuke was a masochist, if Sasuke was mentally ill, if Sasuke ever got sick of this one-sided _thing_ (because it surely wasn't a relationship and it sure didn't seem like an affair either) between the two of them, and what would happen if Sasuke found someone that he loved and loved him back and then decided to leave Neji. Neji seldom, but the most important thing is that he did, thought of how Sasuke could be capable of loving so much while not getting any love in return seeing as he didn't seem to be a person like that.

Sometimes, Neji wonders if he's a sadist, giving a sliver of hope to Sasuke. Holding his hand, kissing him, hugging him, not to mention also fucking (since Neji couldn't call that making love) him. Neji mulls about these things most of all when he wakes up in the middle of the night with Sasuke naked and hugging him with the comforters on top of them.

Oftentimes, Neji ponders whether he could learn to love Sasuke the same way he loved him. He also speculates on the thought of how many hearts would break and be envious at him for getting the full attention of their object of affection.

* * *

_⁂ Couldn't he have just loved someone who would love him back? ⁂  
_

* * *

Naruto thinks that Sasuke is stupid. A blind worshiper of love. And that Neji is an even bigger idiot than Sasuke (Naruto's jealous). 

He could see Sasuke's small smiles whenever he was with Neji or whenever he saw Neji in public. He could feel Sasuke's happiness whenever Neji was around, even if the guy didn't notice him, even if he treated him like some stranger. Naruto noticed everything. And he had also never felt that kind of love, that devotion, not even in his so-called _love_ for dearest Sakura-chan. It was higher than the affections Sasuke's fans showered Sasuke with. They expected Sasuke to love them back. However, Sasuke had never expected Neji to love him at all. Although Neji loving him would've made everything easier. Much, much easier.

Never wanting anything else but to be with that person. Love and fate were truly fickle (Naruto wishes that Sasuke could've just come to love him, if not that, at least for Neji to love Sasuke just as much as the latter loves him). Naruto wondered if Neji ever saw how lucky he was or how Sasuke was able to love Neji like that. Their relationship with each other was of the most complex kind.

Naruto sometimes pondered if Shikamaru, as smart as he was, could even understand Neji and Sasuke's relationship. No mutuality and yet there was so much love thrown by the other one that everything becomes a bit balanced. Naruto wondered if those two could even understand what they were doing. If _Sasuke_ could even understand what he was doing.

Most of the time, Naruto speculated on the thought that if he had only confessed at the first signs of Sasuke liking the Hyuuga for the least bit, would Sasuke have reciprocated his feelings?

Maybe not. Sasuke had liked (loved) Neji for the longest time. But still, Naruto felt as if he could have done something to make Sasuke forget (or perhaps something like that because he knew that Sasuke would never forget something like that) his love for Neji.

* * *

_⁂ Am I too late? ⁂  
_

* * *

Naruto and Neji both wondered if love was meant to be so complicated, so time-consuming, and so full of questions. Filled with remorse, grief, and guilt. Love was said by many to be filled with happiness when in truth, that was merely one of the many facades of love. Behind those countless fronts was a world filled of confusion and many more often unwanted feelings. Love was deceptively pink and red and heart-shaped. 

And they had all fallen into its claws. They couldn't help but be deceived. It was only human to believe in things that weren't really there. It was only human to seek for things that were far beyond their arms. It was only human to be a fool.

When Sasuke went into a coma after taking the hit for Neji, Naruto begins to wonder if Neji has finally, although unconsciously, began to reciprocate Sasuke's feelings. Naruto swears that this had been the first time that he had seen Neji show so many emotions. Panic, worry, fear. Naruto also wonders when was the last time he had been so distraught.

Whenever Sasuke smiled at Neji and for Neji, Naruto and Neji wondered how he could do that. His smile was so tender and loving, so caring and pure. It reminded Neji of his family. Of his father, of his mother. It reminded Naruto of the ones he treated as family. Of Iruka-sensei, of Kakashi-sensei, of Sakura-chan. Even if the smile wasn't for him and would never be for him.

Naruto also knew how and when to give up. He knew that he would never have Sasuke's heart as long as Neji was there. He knew that he couldn't have everything. He knew that he couldn't do everything.

* * *

_⁂ Why couldn't you have been different from the way that you are now? ⁂  
_

* * *

All in all, Naruto thinks that it isn't really all that fair. But when he sees Sasuke, he thinks that it is. He likes that pretty face lighting up. And last week... last week, Neji smiled back during that week for the first time. 

It was a minute smile. Barely noticeable. But Sasuke noticed it. Naruto noticed it. Nobody else noticed it. Because they didn't love Neji as much as Sasuke. Because they weren't as concerned with Sasuke as Naruto.

But it was all worth it to some extent. Naruto swore that that was the happiest he'd seen Sasuke. He vowed to himself that he'd get Sasuke to wear that same expression, even if the latter didn't love him. Just as friends. Best of friends.

Sometimes, Naruto keeps telling himself that it was because they were best friends that he wanted Sasuke to be happy. Because sometimes, even he gets tired of just watching from afar. But it never works because his heart was just so determined and foolish and so much like the outside him. Because his love was so real that it hurt.

Love never went down easily. It was just as bitchy as Fate when it came to losing. Though Love winning wasn't always a good thing. She persisted even if it would be much better to just let go and love someone else who would love one back. She didn't stick with anyone's side, just her own. Naruto utterly hated her. Sure, she sometimes brought him good feelings, but most of the time, she didn't. She was a sadist, just like every other invisible force out there in the universe.

* * *

_⁂ I'll be happy if you're happy... even if you never love me back... even if it hurts. ⁂  
_

* * *

Neji just began to see more of everything. The bigger picture. Seeing that downcast look in Naruto's eyes was awful. Perhaps it was because he wore those eyes whenever he saw Sasuke. At least he used to. 

Whenever those soft lips touch his, he feels something tingling now. The guilt and self-loathing was gone now. Everything was different and he knew that it was the start of something.

Neji didn't know what had happened, but he knew that something really had changed in him. He didn't know when things had started to be like this. Perhaps that wasn't really important. The only thing that mattered was that he _was_ feeling it. He could care less about the facts. Sometimes, it was just easier to meet things head on rather than think about them. It was sometimes easier to do things the way Naruto did them.

Naruto...

But knowing that Naruto was unhappy because of him was unacceptable for the Hyuuga. Naruto had helped him find the light that made him what he was right now. A real human being. That, and Neji knew that Naruto loved Sasuke in the way that Sasuke loved Neji. It would've been a vicious love triangle and perhaps if Naruto had only confessed his feelings, Sasuke might not be with him now.

And Neji thought that Naruto might not feel what love felt like. So that night, he asked Sasuke something.

* * *

"Uzumaki, do you want to be in a threesome?" was what the morning brought.

* * *

Love was a crazy, crazy thing. It made people do crazier things. 

_End._

* * *

There are many dividers... This is my first time doing an insane number of those things. I'm actually worried... Please tell me if I made any mistakes. Any kinds of mistakes. Thank you for taking the time to read this. 


End file.
